Untitled#4

You won't get that this is about you
You never will, you never do
I'm hurting with every glance now
You've succeded in breaking me down, take a bow!

Or wait a minute, pause and rewind
Did you really think that I wouldn't mind
Having myself crushed and torn
Slaying the love that had just been born.

I can't stand seeing you anymore
Why can't we go back to the us we were before?
Without the darkness and all this hate
I fell again, you were the bait

Can't you see through me at all
I feel inadequate, I feel so small
I'm shutting down, disconnecting
All of this, because of one thing...

...You.

untitled #3

the past catches up with you
and you remember it like yesterday
yesterday was so long ago
but you still feel it

you can't help it
you can't stop it
whatever you try
you're gonna think about it

remember
the way you were
remember
how it all was
remember
that you're not the same now
and remember
that forgiveness lies in every tear that falls

cry, hurt doesn't make you happy
cry, something's gone and you won't get a second chance
cry, until the tears are gone

because it's ok.

feel, and it will settle.
...be a memory.
...be a part of you.
a forgiven you.

Untitled #2

There's this room..
And there's this girl..
A complete stranger to me..

It's so cold..
I don't even recognize where I am..

There's this look..
In the girls eyes..
I don't know what it means..

So much pain..
I can't even feel anymore..

There's this room..
There's this girl..
There's this hurt..

The room is mine, the girl is me..
The pain is mine, but I don't know what it means..

untitled#1

I can't see what's in your eyes
I don't know if what you say are lies

I don't know if you really care
I'm not sure that you will be there

I won't say it if you don't want to hear
But my heart is aching, I want you near

I don't know if I know how to love
I can just whisper to the stars above

That you're the everything on my mind
And I'd think you were beautiful even if I was blind

Please stop, look at me and see
That you're the one with the only key

To my heart.

cry

you smile when you're breaking down
you laugh when your world is falling apart
you joke when you're hurting the most
lets rewind and now start
over.
cry, I'm here for you.
cry, and I'll cry for you.
die, and I'll go with you.

air

envy, when seeing how you are towards others.
what did I ever do wrong?
all I ever did was love you.
even when you hurt me.
even when it killed me.
even when you couldn't have cared less.
I told you I'll be here.
still, I'm nothing to you.
you treat me like air.
you can't live without it, so start breathing me in.
I'm not going anywhere.

whatever

You love me, whatever.
You care, whatever.
You hurt me, whatever.
You hate me, whatever.
You say you're sorry, whatever.
You would die for me, whatever.

I love that you care about how you hate that you hurt me.
I forgive you, and would take any bullet meant for you.

But, yeah... Whatever.

from behind the brick wall

it's so safe here, won't you join me?

actually, please don't.

not for real.

you can be over there, see?

perfect.

everything is still safe, but i'm not alone anymore.

oh no, knocknig on the door.

please go away?

great.

wrap it up quick and sink into safeness again.

finally.

so, how are you, and don't be honest.

i love my world.

i love my brick wall.

i love the screen where you are.

i love my screen, because it's safe.

no real eyes to look at me.

no real voices to hear.

it's me, my music and a distant you.

i can't handle "in real life"

that's why...

i'll sit here.

greetings from behind the brick wall.

blame

You take the blame for things you haven't done.

You hate yourself for others mistakes.

You won't forgive yourself, even though you've done nothing wrong.

What is there to forgive?

What part of you is there to hate?

How can anyone blame you?

I forgive you for being so wonderful.

I hate you for making me so happy.

I blame you for my smiles.

Realize the truth, there is nothing but love for you.

crush

Sugary sweet words turn into tears of acid.
Burning their way to my heart.
Exposing it to you again.

Will you crush me this time?

I'm always forgiving, never forgetting.
You said sorry, so I guess it's fine?
My heart still leaks when I think of it though.

You always crush me.

Sugary acidic world of mine.
Forgetting to forgive when my heart leaks.
I guess it's fine to be exposed to you.

I will always let you crush me.

definitely maybe

How come you're so unsure depending on who I am?
Why won't you ever give me a straight answer?
Have you ever told yourself the truth?
Is happiness a choice?
If it is, why won't we choose it for ourselves?
If it isn't, how will we ever deserve it?
Your eyes can't focus, your breathing is uneven.

Your hands shake, your heart stops beating.

Your mouth might form the words, but you're always silent.
The feeling of panic when you have to decide something.

The regret after making a choice.

The question of right or wrong.
Why is it so hard?

Are you happy?

Definitely maybe.

Expectations

A thought.

Stuck.

A smile.

Struck.

Expectations that won't let you rest.

Disappointment, 'cause you'll never get the best.

You will get what you deserve.

fine

Leave me alone when you have no clue about what's going on.

Be with me when I'm silent and won't say a word.

Never ask me how I am, you alreday know I'm "fine".

Don't look, don't speak, don't hear.

I'm fine. And you always believe it.

empty. lost. and screaming.

If I think, I feel.
If I feel, I need to know.
I don't know, so I scream.
I can't scream, I'm not me.
I'm lost, I think...

hunger

The wind embraces me with more warmth than you ever have, I hunger for your love.

Storms have made me feel safer than you ever have, I needed you.

Hail has spoken to me with more wisdom than you ever have, why do you stay silent?

Raindrops have weeped with me, why were you never the cloud?

Darkness has surrounded me, you stole my light.

When will you let me breath again?

stop

Stop sticking your fingers down my throat, the only thing I'll throw up is what you've done to me.

Stop suffocating my heart with your hands, I'm already ice and you can't breath my oxygen.

Stop focusing your eyes on me, haven't you done enough looking already?

Stop speaking, I will never listen to you, when have you ever said anything intelligent?

Stop being, I don't need you to exist.

stabbed in the back

Joyfully expecting.

Happiness flowing.

Words piercing.

World crumbling.

Hate boiling.

Blank expressions.

Goodbye.

Good luck.

words like violence

Do you know what is spewing out of your rotten mouth?
Do you know that your words are venomous bullets penetrating the souls of your victims?
Do you know your actions cause minds to alter?

Do you know that your victims will start to believe they're worth nothing when you tell them every day?
Do you know your existence will cause permanent marks in their hearts?

Do you know you're all the things you tell others they are?

broken soul

All your feelings melt into one.
You can't feel it.
It dislocates you from yourself.
It breakes you down, splittng your every atom into millions.

Crumbled, unable to tell someone how you feel.
Whispering questions to the distant night-sky.
Silent shouting gives you nothing back.

Desperately trying to fixate your smile into others eyes.
Try to convince them that you are strong.

A broken soul and a fading smile is what's gonna be left.